15)+Daniel+Scott

Daniel- I need an influential person paper here. This is really hurting your grade. You must complete all assignments. im alone solder im alone in the streets its just me my fist and my on two feet always up never get no sleep my anger is high its at its peak

Daniel my mom yelled,its time for dinner.It was around 530 maybe 6.I was sleep in the bathtub.I felt really sick.I tried to get up but i just couldnt.My legs were weak.My head pounding,stomach hurting.I felt like i was about to puke up my guts.I was able to get up,rolled out the tub and hit the floor.My mom yelled are you alright from the bottom of the steps.I managed to say no.I started walking down the hall toward the steps then i collapsed.

My mom came upstairs and saw me laying their motionless.I guess i blacked out because thats the last thing i remember when i woke up on my grandpas couch.I had some soup or something that looked like it waiting for me on the table.I was hungry but the look of that stuff i lost my whole appetite.My head wasn't really hurting that much but my stomach was was a mess.It felt like shards of glass was churning in my stomach.I went to the hospital and they said i had Dyspepsia which is the most common stomach disease which affects 40-60% of world's population at least once in a lifetime and is characterized by persistent or occasional pain in upper abdomen or in lower chest but can also result regurgitation, bloating, nausea and vomiting.I stayed in the hospital for a couple of weeks.It was a weird time for me.There were alot of people coming in hurt and sick.Everyday i ate some mcdonalds that my mom baught me.It was good but it hurt my stomach a little.And after that little bit of time i felt 95% better than before.

Two weeks later i went back for a checkup.The docters said it passed through me and it was gone.I was so realived that it was gone.They said i will probaly never get it again and i was happy.

Dan, you are a good writer. I think that if you are talking about being in the hospital for a week as a kid you have to talk about how you felt and what you were thinking. THis could be the place for a lot of description. You have some good information here, but I do think you could add more in the way of feelings and descriptions.

Hey,im jake.Im a surfer.One day i was waxing my board on the beach then this huge wave was forming.I hurried grabbed my board and went out to the wave.The wave started getting bigger and bigger.Then i realized this wasn't just an oridanary wave.It as a tsunami.I was scared half to death.The wave was huge.I was barely able to stay on my board for a minute.It toppled over onto the beach into town.I saw my life flash before my eyes.I didn't think i was going to make it out of the wave alive.I remember hitting a palm tree and boucing of cars.I knew i was going to die i just knew it i thought hitting another car.Then i blacked out.I woke up in the hospital with five broken ribs,a broken leg,and a fractured foot.I was in excruciating pain.The said i couldn't surf ever again....on a tsunami,of course,common sense.I mad a mistake riding the wrong wave.Like they sat you learn from your mistakes and thats exactly what i did.

Great job Dan. You are a very good writer and I would like you to keep working at this. This story has some humor and a clear and organized style. You could have spent more time introducing the character. How did he feel when he noticed the wave was bigger than he thought? How long was he able to stay on his board? I am sure there was a lot going on in his head before he blacked out, and stories get more interesting when we know what the character was thinking. Good job.

A couple weeks later i was out riding my board again.But this time its not a surfboard but a skateboard.Surfing is fun in all but too risky.So now i am a skatboarder.It is the same thing but skateboarding doesn't have tsunamis to deal with.I now learned some new tricks ike a 360 kickflip and a 180 nail grind.That is my new hobby.

The Egyptian cobra that turned into a media darling after its escape and subsequent capture at the Bronx Zoo will get a name Thursday.

The options are: -- Agnes, which is Greek for pure or holy, and is also a reference to St. Agnes. -- Amaunet, an ancient Egyptian goddess, meaning 'the female hidden one."

-- Cleopatra, the last ruler of ancient Egypt, who supposedly killed herself by means of an Egyptian cobra bite. -- Subira, which means patient in Egypt. -- Mia, an abbreviation for Missing In Action

Dan- Good job here. You are a really good writer and I think you need to make sure you are taking advantage of your ability. Work hard man. You can do big things. As for the essay, you could add some more explanation to some of the paragraphs. Good job though.

As the NBA gets closer to the playoffs the tension rises. There is alot of talk about who is goin to win the championship.Some say kobe and his lakers,some say dwayne and his heat,but i think personally that the bulls will win.They are the top ranked team.Great shooters rose,korver,deng,watson.THey have a good big man joakim noah whois not so good as shooting but gets rebounds.The two i think will be in the ship are the bulls and the lakers.Lakers are a great team with alot of experience.The bulls don't have alot of experience but can play together.

Good shooters will help them if they cannot score in the paint and all they can do is take jumpshots.The bulls great shooting will help them in the future if they cannot score down low when playing teams with huge players.That is how the great shooting will help them in the future.

A solid big man will help them in the games is he is big and he gets rebounds.Even though is not so geat at shooting he gets big rebounds for second chance points.He is big and every championship team needs a big man.And if he is at his best no one can stop him.He is a big factor for the bulls defense and he has a big role to play.

Another thing the best or close to the best player derrick rose is great.He averages 20 points a game.Four steals and three rebounds.He has a huge role for this team.He is captain and point guard.He is the leader and he is goin to lead them to a championship win.

Good start here Dan. You did a good job of starting your paragraph (introduction) in a general way. Then, you gave me a good thesis ("I think personally that the bulls will win. They...). Now, you want to write a paragraph for each of your reasons supporting why that will help them win.

Paragraph 1: Why good shooters will help them win

Paragraph 2: WHy a solid big man like Joakim Noah will help them

Paragraph 3: Add one more... Maybe that they have one of the best players, if not the best, in the NBA this year.

Conclusion.

My room is dark with black walls and ceiling.I have a tv on top of my dresser that is by the door.My bed is acrossed the room next to the vent which is warm.I have a shelf on the wall above my bed which holds all my trophies and pictures.I have a dog cage next to the window which my dog is in when we are not home.I also have a chair so i can sit in front of the tv and play my game.I have a wooden floor and it is fun to slide on.That is pretty much my room. My moms room has pink walls and white ceiling.She has a fireplace thats under her shelf of stuff.her bed is by the window.She has a tv on the wall she has a computer under that. her closet is behind her bedroom door.she has like three dressers for her and my dad.that is her room

**Sprinkle the yeast into a medium bowl containing 1 1/4 cup warm water and stir until yeast dissolves**.
 * 1) **Preheat your oven to about 180c or 350F**. (C=Celsius F=Fahrenheit.)
 * 2
 * 2

**Add 2 cups sifted flour and stir until blended**.
 * 3

**Add another 1 1/2 to 2 cups flour and blend until too stiff to stir with a spoon**.
 * 4

**Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead it for 10 to 15 minutes until dough is smooth and elastic**. (See "How to Knead Bread Dough" in the Related eHows.)
 * 5

**Place the dough in another bowl greased with a small amount of oil**. Turn the dough once so that the top is oiled.
 * 6

**Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and put it in a warm place for about 45 minutes--until the dough rises to about double its original size**.
 * 7

**Dump the dough back onto the floured surface and punch it down, getting rid of any bubbles**. Divide the dough in half and let it rest a few minutes.
 * 8

**Roll each half into a 12-inch circle, depending on your personal preference for how thick pizza crust should be**. (It will puff slightly when baked.)
 * 9

**Transfer the dough to an oiled pizza pan or baking sheet, or, if you have a baking stone, to a cornmeal-sprinkled wooden pizza peel for transfer directly to the stone**.
 * 1) 10

**Add sauce, cheese and toppings as desired**. If you like, brush exposed edges of the crust with olive oil.
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**Bake each pizza for 15 to 20 minutes, or until crust is nicely browned and cheese is melted**.
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If i had to pick someone to motivate the wms i would pick Mr.Boll.I would pick him because he is the type of person who really cares about the kids here.He actually likes to be here with us and not the lazy type of people who are here for the money.He is here for the kids.He is someone that kids would really listen to.He has big effect on children.He is fun. He plays around with us just enough and teaches us to.He is really not like the other teachers.He is a nice guy.

YOu are too kind Dan. Thanks for the encouragement. It is easy to teach when you have good kids, like you can be when you put your mind to it. YOu will go far if you work hard. As for the paragraph, it is good. Just a little more explanation would help. Why does a caring, joking, and listening teacher inspire WMS students.

Good start.